


these little words

by halfwheeze



Series: Winteriron Bingo 2019 (Round 1) [8]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Insecure Tony, M/M, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Janet Van Dyne, Team as Family, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 01:11:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18355538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfwheeze/pseuds/halfwheeze
Summary: in which tony thinks the avengers don't want him around, so he takes it as a cue to phase himself out.





	these little words

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little angsty, so get your hats on and good luck!
> 
> This is for Winteriron Square O5: Team Fic!

When Tony pulls away, he does it in stages. Not, of course, because he thinks he’s going to be hurting anyone - he’s not so build as to assume that his presence makes or breaks anyone in anyway except money - but so that no one has to bring it up like they actually think it’s a bad thing. He's not like he doesn't know that they don't actually like him; he's not a kindergartner who gets socially courted by fifth graders anymore, completely unaware that they wanted him for his money and not because of how interesting or cool he actually was. 

He knows that people like Rogers and Romanoff and Barton, beautiful, powerful people, have no actual use for someone like him as a friend, and that's why he starts leaving. He's only dragging everyone down. Especially after they brought Barnes to the tower, completing their little group in a way that Tony never could. Two guys from the 40's, two Russian agents, two snipers, Barnes has something perfectly in common with all three of them. Tony isn't meant for something like this. He's just some rich kid that made it in with the big kids. He only has powers that he built in a cave, not a serum like Rogers or training like Romanoff and Barton, or a combination thereof like Barnes. He's nothing special. 

He knows when to bow out. 

He still shows up enough to fix Barton's ears, to fix Romanoff's bites, to help with the medical treatment of Rogers, which takes a hefty amount of science to engineer. What he loves doing the most, what he hates affects him the most, is working on Barnes's arm. He's courteous whenever he comes down to the shop, so careful around Tony while still being so polite, so kind, that Tony barely knows what to do with himself. Tony is the billionaire, and Barnes is the one with long hair, but sometimes he really expects to find out that Barnes has stepped out of an Austen novel, a regular modern day Mr Darcy. 

Tony doesn't know what kind of man it makes him that he almost wants to be Elizabeth in that sense, in all of her contrarian glory. 

There are other members of the Avengers, ones that Tony fits in with with more ease of character, but they don't need him either. Bruce has Barton in the way that those two have each other in ways that Tony does not understand, and Wilson has Rogers. Janet has Hank and Thor, whom she gets along with famously by virtue of the fact that both of them love to see things crushed. None of them need Tony Stark sticking around and making things complicated by bankrolling the entire thing and making them uncomfortable with how much money he throws around for no good reason. If he does it from behind the scenes, if he keeps them safe without them seeing it all the time, everything will be okay. It'll be fine. 

He starts by only coming to the tower for half the week - Monday through Wednesday, he hangs out at the tower and has all the consult meetings that they need him to have and he smiles the entire time, his mom would be so proud. Even when he knows exactly why he would be the butt of all the jokes, why no one really likes him for who he is, Tony still smiles. It's the press smile that his father pushed into him before he was eight years old, and who knew it would still be good for interpersonal relationships when he's a fully grown adult? Thanks, Dad!

The transition to only coming once a week is startlingly easy. He goes from Monday-Wednesday to only coming on Mondays, showing up fresh faced and bright and early and leaving for the manor late, always under some pretense of having other business to attend to. Everyone knows that he doesn't have other business to attend to; most of the business he handles himself these days lives in this tower, after all. 

But, it's easier if he makes excuses, slices everything the opposite way of the truth because none of them need to know where he goes at night, and they're happier without him around. He's been watching on JARVIS's feeds of public areas, scanning over the reactions of everyone throughout the days he was around everyday versus now. Everyone seems better, and he can't argue with the facts. Even when they hurt. 

The facts are why he's confused when he works on Barnes's arm next; on his way out of his own lab, while he's muttering something about needing to go to a meeting for Pepper so that Barnes doesn't have to pretend that he's offended that Tony's just walking out on him, Barnes grabs his arm, gently guiding him into sitting down on the work bench across from Barnes. Tony's creases his eyebrows, feeling pretty much immediately like a deer in the headlights. 

"Where are you headed off to, doll? You know you don't have to go, darlin. This is  _ your  _ building after all," Barnes says, dipping his head to be more soothing, but it just makes Tony feel sick. Of course he points out that Tony owns the place, that there's no reason for him to not be here because he owns the place, because there's no other reason anyone would want him around. A weak part of Tony wants to accuse him of twisting Barnes's words but Tony shutters closed like a window and puts up a smile like curtains, blocking out the ugly parts that say that he's all broken class. 

"I'm going to a meeting with Pepper, Barnes. It's not a big deal," he says before more or less yanking his arm out of the grasp of the Winter Soldier, not running, but not exactly walking slowly in the direction of the elevator. Barnes hasn't moved an inch by the time that the doors close. 

Tony feels like he might be panicking. Is he panicking? He totally should not be panicking. There is no reason for him to be panicking right now. 

No one is supposed to notice. Not even Barnes, who has the softest smile and the prettiest eyes and the sweetest voice, not even him. And, if he does notice, he's certainly not supposed to point it out, not supposed to... do anything he just did. He touched Tony. He reached out and touched Tony like Tony was a person, and it shocked Tony enough that he had to leave the room. Maybe this isn't normal. 

Maybe it doesn't matter what's normal. 

Tony continues with his routine of appearing less and less, his one day a week dwindling into hours until he's only stopping by for minutes at a time that are sprinkled throughout the week, maybe adding up to four non-combat hours with the Avengers every week. It's better. He feels calmer when he goes back to the manor, especially when he can ignore that hot ache in his chest that feels like he's going to die. Everything is especially better when he can move himself to ignore that. He doesn't think of it for a moment when Steve asks him to show up for a mission briefing, even if Tony hasn't heard anything about it. 

It's not like he's at the tower enough to be in the loop anymore. 

Everyone is at this "little debrief" as Steve's text had said, everyone from the Captain himself to Barnes to Jan and Bruce to Wanda and Pietro, little baby Avengers that they are. They're only half-time on the field, which means that this must be some mission. The itching at the back of his throat, the one that has always warned him when he's about to walk into something that he maybe shouldn't, warns him that this is not a mission debrief. He walks in anyway, plastering a smile on his face before he even makes it into the door. The only seat in the room that’s open is the one next to Barnes, who smiles at Tony, but that doesn’t make it easier to sit. 

He does it anyway. 

"Hey sweetheart. You doin' okay?" Barnes asks him, dipping his head again like he did last time Tony let him talk for more than a second at a time, and Tony can't make himself look directly at him. Instead, he nods, looking at Steve to begin the meeting. Steve has his jaw set like he's walking into battle right now, and something in Tony mourns for this; there's obvious something going on, something outside of his control that he cannot lessen the blow of for his teammates, and he doesn't even know where to begin. He tried to make it better, tried to leave before it became to painful to be around him, but they all still look guarded, frustrated. 

"Tony," Steve begins, sounding that certain strain of disappointed that always reminds Tony of the few times he had disappointed Aunt Peggy, and especially of the tone she would use whenever she thought that Tony was Howard, in the later days. Tony tenses at the shoulders and feels metal fingers grab his hand beneath the table, lacing between his fingers and stroking at the back of his hand. Despite himself, he relaxes a little. 

"Cap," Tony replies, giving the Captain a look that tells him to continue. He's nervous when Steve bites at his lower lip, a tell of when he's going to say something that hurts for him to say, even if it's the most honest route. 

"You've been very... absent at the tower lately. The purpose of this meeting is to uncover the reason for that absence, and to expound upon any actions that the team can take to return to your normal state of living here with the team. I understand that you are more comfortable at your mansion, but it is beneficial to team morale for all members of the Avengers to live in one space. Please provide us with what is bothering you so that it can be managed," Steve requests, to which Tony gives him a look of outright confusion. 

He honestly doesn't know what to do in this situation. This is what the other Avengers want, what they must want, because no one wants the rich kid who talks to much to sit at their table, Tony knows that, Tony has lived that his entire life. He doesn't understand why Steve is attempting to make it out any other way; there are no cameras attending this event, besides the ones provided by JARVIS, and the AI doesn't reveal any secrets to the media. 

"Sir, if I may?" JARVIS pipes up then, speak of the devil, and Tony just nods automatically. JARVIS is his greatest creation, his brightest son, even if Dum-e is the first and U is the prettiest, JARVIS is the brightest, his little star. JARVIS is a smart boy. 

"Go ahead, J," he gives his verbal consent, knowing how important that is to his boy; it makes him proud, that. JARVIS always asks, whether it's a question that has been posed to him before or not, whether it's a question he's been told to ask or not. He's likely smarter than Tony even was. 

"Sir has been avoiding the tower for the benefit of those attending, I believe. He is under the assumption that the other Avengers would be more at peace without his direct involvement and attendance, thus why he has kept himself scarce," JARVIS explains succinctly, and something tells Tony that if J had a physical form, he'd be raising an eyebrow in challenge. He's a protective little firecracker, Tony will give him that, even if he won't look up from where Barnes is still holding his hand because he doesn't want to make eye contact with anyone now that they know. Now that it's out in the  open how they all feel. 

"I know the whole fuck not," Jan says out of the blue, and then it's an entire shitshow of noise. Instead of speaking to him, instead of overwhelming him even more, Barnes lets go of Tony’s hand (a loss, such a loss, a loss that makes him want to maybe leave), and cradles his face. Now, this, this is distinctly not a loss.

"Tony," Barnes says after he knows that he has Tony's attention, and everyone else pipes down around him. "Why did you feel like you had to run away, sweetheart? This is your place, and we definitely want you here, darling." Tony cringes at the reminder of his money, of one of the only reasons to want him around, and he almost pulls out of Bucky's grip but... he's too selfish. He wants one more moment of pretending that Bucky Barnes cares enough about him to keep him close like this. 

"Because it is my place. Because I have all of this money and I want to give it to all of you in cash and travel and gifts and it's... it's less awkward if you don't have to deal with me in person. No one wants the mouthy rich guy around. This isn't where someone like me belongs," Tony says, hesitant and clipping, and he startles when Bucky tips his chin up even more. Barnes is only a few inches taller than him standing, and it's even more noticeable that they lack a height difference when they're sitting down, but Bucky still doesn't let him look down. Bucky doesn't let him hide away, and Tony doesn't know what to do with all of that exposure, all of that barely touching care, so he just doesn't say a single word. 

"Honey. You can give us whatever you want. You can throw around your money like it's goin' damn near out of style, but we're still gonna want you around. We're still gonna wanna see you every day. Most of all me," Bucky admits, Brooklyn draw slurring his words together, but Tony understands and will remember every single word. 

"I'm going to fight every motherfucker you went to school with, and a few other people besides," Jan claims, breaking the moment entirely. 

“Hey, buddy, we hurt when you’re not around too. I’ve missed you. Who else is gonna snark with me about all these enhanced people? Don’t say Wilson, that’s just not fair, and Jan’s too mean,” Clint says, flashing him a grin, and Tony gives him a weak smile back. Bucky drags his attention back by dipping his head forward, soft smile taking over his face and Tony’s field of vision. 

“You gonna be around more?” Bucky asks, vulnerable, and Tony finds himself responding in the affirmative. 

“Yeah… I can do that,” he says, biting his lip, and it’s only a moment before Barnes is standing, startling the rest of the room. 

“Me and Tony needa talk a minute. We’ll be back. Tasha, order pizza and Barton, get Kate to bring your dog. Tony needs dog cuddles,” Bucky orders, making both assassins roll their eyes, but they both pull at their phones, so. Tony is being dragged out of the room by a gentle hand on his lower back before he can even come up with a protest, and then Bucky is looming over him, Tony’s back against a wall and Bucky’s forehead against his. 

“Bucky?” Tony asks, smiling and trying to appear nonchalant, but Bucky kisses his nose, quick and affectionate, and Tony feels like he’s gonna break. 

“Think it’d be easier to stay here if I was warmin’ your bed?” Bucky asks, a flash of mischief in his eyes that Tony adores, and then Tony is nodding slowly. Bucky gives him a quick peck on the lips, turning into a harder press that makes Tony whimper just a little bit, Bucky’s knee between his and his back pressed into the wall. 

“Good,” Bucky says as he pulls back, and Tony thinks he kinda feels that way, yeah. 

It’s been a while. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Prompt me in the comments down below or on tumblr @halfwheeze!


End file.
